45 Park Lane has gone for the unexpected approach with its decor

Saw a louche picture in a hotel this morning. Was it the Sanctum Soho? The W? Somewhere else that prides itself on being a little bit naughty?

Nuh-uh: it was, and you won't believe this, in the ladies' bathroom at 45 Park Lane.

Other sexy things on my walk round included a chat about afternoon tea consisting of 90 percent booze, and a picture in the bar of Madonna sucking suggestively on a cigar. All highly un-Dorchester Collection. You can almost feel the old Dorchester herself shrinking away across the street.

No sex kits in the minibar though, from what I saw. I guess Brad and Angelina brought their own (according to Just Jared, they spent the night).

Rooms are currently going for £450 and up.