This is when a hotel knows it's made it: W London stars in a short porn story

The W Porn in a fitting location

I’m sitting in bed with a mug of hot chocolate, reading some moderately hardcore porn. Not because that’s what I like to do of an evening (tbh, I’d rather be watching TOWIE tonight), but because this afternoon I walked into the W London, up to the check in desk, asked for a copy of “the naughty story”, was escorted over to the concierge desk and handed a plain white envelope.

Through the window of the WLLS-branded envelope, it said: "Some places just make you think about sex."

And then off it went. For five pages. I didn’t want to read it in the bar, so I saved it for hometime, to read with my Vegas stripper mug.

Chocolate week means chocolate tea at the Athenaeum

In lieu of a picture of the tea... the Athenaeum Garden Room where it's served. 

This week, apparently, is National Chocolate Week, and for hotels, that means chocolate afternoon teas. Not something I would have been that jazzed about, being an afternoon tea purist, had I not tasted heaven in a chocolate scone at the Langham earlier this week.

This one's from the Athenaeum, which already does incred teas (stand by for a review). It's called the ChocolaTEAr menu (slightly unfortunate to associate chocolate with tears of weight gain, notwithstanding the pun, but anyways) and has been designed "to fulfill every chocolate fan's fantasy." So in addition to the normal sandwiches, there's also one on white bread with chocolate spread; the scones are dark and white chocolate and come with chocolate paste, and the cakes are things like whoopie pies, raspberry and chocolate macaroons, eclairs, black forest gateau, cheesecake, and mint and chocolate mousse.

The Metropolitan gets a Como Shambhala Urban Escape spa

Oh. Yes.

There's a Como Shambhala spa opening at the Metropolitan. 


I haven't been to one (though I've always wanted to), but I did get a free bottle of Como Shambs body lotion with a magazine last year, and it was one of the nicest I've ever had, so this augurs very, very well.

It'll be a Como Shambhala Urban Escape spa (also in the Met Bangkok and Singapore), and pretty cosy, with just six treatment rooms, a gym and yoga space. 

Treatments will be "results-driven" (umm, what spa isn't?). On offer: Dr Perricone facials (clinical but sound - did wonders for my zits, and it's also apparently good for wrinkles), Como Shambhala facials, "a variety of body treatments" and acupuncture. In the future, they'll also be bussing in osteopaths, reflexologists and nutritionists from other Como Shamb spas.

Introducing the Mercer Street Hotel, the newest spot on the Seven Dials block

I already wrote about this for HotelChatter, but here we are again: there's a new hotel in town.

It's the Mercer Street Hotel, which used to be called the Mountbatten, but has been put through a £15m transformation by Radisson Edwardian.

The stats: 137 rooms, free WiFi and Apple TVs in each. Eight suites with walk-in showers, views over Seven Dials (would this stretch to Trafalgar Square? I reckon you could catch a glimpse of Nelson's Column) and Union Jacks on the fridge. Nice and airy, anyway (all these pictures are of suites).

Flemings launches a fiendishly difficult game of Where's Wally

This is like Where's Wally but with an actual prize: spot a taxi, win a stay at Flemings.

There's a catch, of course: of all the taxis in the haystack of London, there's just one Flemings-branded needle. It will, apparently, be "touring London as a regular taxi until 31 December".

If you do see it, take a picture and send it to competition@flemings.co.uk. You'll also need to answer the tiebreaker question: "Where in the world would you like this taxi to take you?" (Um, Flemings?)

There's something fishy going down at Andaz Liverpool Street

Andaz Liverpool Street used to be all about culture - remember how groundbreaking it was when Damian Barr set up as Reader in Residence? So groundbreaking that it made national news, and the idea was nicked and taken abroad.

But lately - not so much. In fact, lately we've been looking towards the W London for all things culture (not surprising, since the W nicked Andaz's old marketing manager).

But not any more. The global Andaz brand is introducing what it's calling the Andaz Salon:

A regular series of events to be held at every Andaz hotel, which will offer the opportunity for guests and neighbours to engage in creative inspiration under the guidance of a unique event host who leads a spirited discussion with a collection of local influencers.  

From art exhibits, to wine and cheese immersions, to local music and dance performances, and culinary demonstrations, guests will experience the local scene through the eyes of leading cultural arbiters.

The London offering isn't as arty as the others: two "sustainable seafood cooking workshops" to be held October 8 and 15. You'll hit up Billingsgate with the chef of Catch, the restaurant; then come back to the hotel and prepare a meal.

Cocktail of the day at the Covent Garden Hotel

If I had to make a list of sexy London hotel bars, I wouldn't include the Covent Garden Hotel. Or, rather, I wouldn't have included it. But then I went past it the other day, and it looked so tempting, with people sitting outside on Monmouth Street having tea and drinks, that I decided to go in. It's called Brasserie Max, btw.

First impression: are the staff nice or what? It was around 5-5.30 and I asked initially if they were still doing tea. No, says the guy, sadly they stopped serving about 15 minutes ago - but, hang on, he would ask. No no, I said, it's fine, I'll just have a drink, but no, he asked the person in charge of the restaurant and they said yes, they could still do tea. Awesome!

Less awesome: I then realised I didn't have time for tea. But I did have time for a drink.